Eternal Atake 2 is the 4^th studio album by Lil Uzi Vert, released on November 1^st, 2024. It was dropped on a very busy Friday, which included releases from The Cure and Willie Nelson. The album contains 16 tracks in total and is 43 minutes long, but has only 1 feature, Big Time Rush. Eternal Atake 2 serves as the sequel to Lil Uzi Vert’s second studio album, Eternal Atake, which I haven’t listened to. The album’s main genre is trap, but it also includes a little R&B and pop-rap. Now, I must admit that I’ve never been a huge fan of Lil Uzi Vert or the trap genre in general, so my ratings might be a tad skewed. That being said, this is my review, so I will be rating Eternal Atake 2 based off my judgement alone, not on popular opinion. With that out of the way, I must say that this album was disappointing. I didn’t have particularly high expectations going into my first listen, but Eternal Atake 2 gave me very little to praise. The introduction is usually for description, not review, so I’ll keep my opinions here short so that I can return to them in the conclusion, but not much can be said about this album without laying out the fact that there wasn’t much to like. The beats were alright, I suppose, and I didn’t see much wrong with the instrument usage either. Otherwise, I felt like I was just getting yelled/chanted at while listening through this album. There was seldom a change of pace that caught my interest, and many of the tracks quickly started to mix and sound the same. Many parts of the album have a generally “microwave-like” sound, which got annoying. The lyrics are basic at best, with some songs having noticeably corny/bad lyrics. Again, these grievances might be partly due to my aversion to trap, but there’s simply too much wrong with this album to ignore. Eternal Atake 2 features themes of heartbreak (maybe?) and… outer space??? The themes are very weak in this album, but that was expected. Even Uzi doesn’t know what kind of theme he’s going for in Eternal Atake 2, but I won’t hold that against him, as I didn’t expect much.

For this album, I will only be highlighting one standout track. The main reason for this is that there are many more bad songs on Eternal Atake 2 than there are good songs, so I feel as if I should focus on the bad songs. With that being said, my standout track for this album is “Chill Bae.” This song is simply a vibe, and it’s really easy to get into. If the song was a little longer (it’s only 2:19 long and effectively ends at 2:05), it probably would have gotten at least a .5 higher score. “Chill Bae” gets the listener interested and hooks them just to end before they get enough. The amount of the song that we do get to listen to is great though. I would catch myself bobbing my head to it, and it stood out as my favorite track from the first listen. Overall, “Chill Bae” is a solid song that is easy to vibe to, catchy, and fun.

Eternal Atake 2 has three stinkers that stand out above the rest in a brilliant (or perhaps not so brilliant) fashion. These are: “The Rush,” “Meteor Man,” and “Paars In The Mars.” “The Rush,” as with most of these songs, has terrible lyrics and sounds bad in general. You can definitely hear the “microwave” kind of sound in this one, and the song has almost no redeeming qualities. This and “Meteor Man” probably would have gotten a 1 on any other album, and the only reason they didn’t was because “Paars In The Mars” was even worse than these two and I don’t give anything less than a 1. “The Rush” is the only song on Eternal Atake 2 with a feature, and it completely wastes this small chance at redemption. It is terrible to listen to, with the chorus being especially annoying (don’t get me wrong, the verses are also really bad). Moving on from “The Rush,” “Meteor Man” is actually arguably worse. In fact, “Meteor Man” was my pick for worst song on the album on my first listen-through. After subsequent listens, I decided that “Paars In The Mars” was worse, but “Meteor Man” is extremely bad nonetheless. It was impossible to vibe to this song, as the verses have almost no rhythm and I don’t know if this song has a real chorus. The song as a whole was annoying to listen to and was actually hard to get through at times. “Meteor Man” also has the audacity to be the longest song on Eternal Atake 2, sitting at an excruciating 3:41. I could barely understand anything being said in the song, but that had started to become a theme with some of Uzi’s tracks. Now to talk about a potential top 5 pick for worst song I have ever listened to: “Paars In The Mars”. This track is so unbearably bad. I’m convinced Uzi just decided to stop trying for the 3-song stretch in which these 3 songs occurred, and that he completely gave up in the middle with this track. Once again, I could barely understand any of the lyrics, and while this song makes some slight progress over “Meteor Man” in the verses, the “chorus” (if I can even call it that) makes me want to turn my computer off and stop writing. The constant chanting of “wock wock wock wock” over and over again got on my nerves so much that I had to pause this song while writing this review so I could concentrate on writing. The beat is nothing special either and the ad-libs make the song worse than it already is. In fact, Uzi’s ad-libs got on my nerves throughout Eternal Atake 2, but that’s not the point here. Most of these bad songs manage to sound the same as each other after multiple listens, so I can’t even tell slop from slop anymore. “Paars In The Mars” is bad in almost every facet, and it is my extreme displeasure to give this song a 1 (I would give it a lower score if I could, but I have standards).

Now for the individual song ratings and one-word descriptions:

1. “We Good” – (3.5/10): No
2. “Light Year (Practice)” – (4/10): Boring
3. “Meteor Man” – (1.5/10): Terrible
4. “Paars In The Mars” – (1/10): Worse
5. “The Rush” – (1.5): Stop
6. “Not An Option” – (3.5/10): Indecipherable
7. “She Stank” – (3.5/10): Stinks
8. “Mr Chow” – (5.5/10): Improvement
9. “Lyft Em Up” – (4/10): Regression
10. “Chips and Dip” – (4/10): Unvaried
11. “Black Hole” – (4/10): Microwave
12. “Chill Bae” – (8/10): Vibe
13. “Goddard Son” – (5/10): Mid
14. “PerkySex” – (7/10): Solid
15. “Conceited” – (7.5/10): Chill
16. “Space High” – (3.5/10): Annoying

Eternal Atake 2 is such a perplexing album to me. For most of the album, it seems like Lil Uzi Vert simply isn’t trying, but the last bits of the album actually redeem it a bit. Specifically, “Chill Bae,” “PerkySex,” and “Conceited” were songs that I found to be great listens. “Mr. Chow” and “Goddard Song” aren’t bad either. However, the majority of the tracks on Eternal Atake 2 are terrible. There are several reasons for this, all of which I will attempt to explain here: 1. Many of the lyrics are hard to understand because of the amount of autotune and distortion used on Uzi’s voice. 2. If I am able to hear the lyrics, they are usually terrible or extremely corny/shallow. 3. The verses or choruses of many of the tracks end up being very annoying or unenjoyable. 4. The beats are not that great, and so they don’t add much to the quality of the album. 5. Many of the songs end up sounding similar, which makes the listening experience as a whole worse. 6. The “microwave” sound shows up far too often in Eternal Atake 2 to be looked over. I have never seen an album that has been more consistently bad, with only 4/16 of the songs scoring over a 5. This essentially means that I only had a good time listening to 25% (1 in 4) of the songs on Eternal Atake 2. Trap isn’t my genre, I’ll admit that, but I don’t necessarily think that any album should ever be this bad if the artist is serious about their work, which I believe Uzi is trying to be. I think there was a lack of a game plan for this album and that it was not given enough thought. There are many bad/mid songs on Eternal Atake 2, but my stinkers in the 3-track run of “Meteor Man”, “Paars In The Mars”, and “The Rush” were terrible enough to drop the entire album’s rating by a full point. With all of this taken into consideration, this is my final verdict: Eternal Atake 2 by Lil Uzi Vert is a massive disappointment that delivers a shocking amount of mid to terrible songs. It showcases bad/unintelligible lyrics, annoying verses and choruses, and a mostly unchanging “microwave” sound throughout the album. 2/10.